Our Christmas Dinner 1905
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Our Christmas Dinner 1905
Barwicker No. 12
December 1988
Joseph Friedenson, one of the "Attic
Aboders (see "The Barwicker" No.9, tells
the story of one of their typically
madcap adventures of Christmas 1905. His
illustrated account from the "Attic Abode
Log-book" is presented by kind permission
of Kenneth and Denis Alban Jones, the
sons of Billy Jones.
"When I got in frtom King's Cross, I
found that Dooley, Billy Jones and I were
invited to have our Xmas dinner at
Grassington, so in the morning we dragged
Billy out of bed, and set off at 12 noon
on the tramp. Dooley went back to bring a bottle of rum in case
we fainted or were dying of thirst, and with that in the knapsack and a lighted lantern, we felt brave enough to attempt the
Himalayas as we had heard of the formidable mountains in that
part of Yorkshire. A tine frosty Christmas morning, a white
crispy mantle on the landscape, t.he sun shining for all it was
worth, we stepped it boldly down the Village street in the
direction of the hills of Grassington."
"The Lord was on our side! When we had walked a good long
way and nearing Harewood I said that we had walked at least 10
miles and we had not wished each other a Merry Xmas. This
subtle suggestion was not lost on Billy and Dooley so we trotted
out the bottle and after: good pulls, we were unanimous that the
gods were good, that life was not an empty desert, and I said
that the bottle had saved our lives. With "living together in
'armony" and "no dew drops", we made the milestones pass
quickly. Then we had one or our inimitable conversations on the
mileage : with my generous imaginatlon I said we had surely
tramped 15 miles, Billy thought halt or that was nearer the
number and Dooley to pat us on the back and be amiable said 12
was the number and I said that the sooner we got to Harewood the
better, as my lite was in a very precarious condition and
nothing but beet and fat ale would save 1 t so on we went in
hope."
"And thus it came to pass that on
the Eve of Christmas we entered the
portals of that famed hostelry "The
Lister's Arms" at Ilkley and we did
bargain for beds and a lusty supper, and
lo! we got far more than we bargained
for. The presiding Hebe of the bar
parlour did escort us through sundry
winding passages unto the spacious
dining appartments, wherein we found not
only a substantial feast, but a maiden
'een as much to our taste."
"Our jaded palates took in both the supper and the maiden
one and the same time and we did round off the meal by L
merriest and most festive chaff it were possible to imagine. We
did take unto ourselves that species of forwardness and
assurance peculiar to this festive season, and did clasp the
maid unto our bosoms, separately and individually, and partook
of the purest of osculations! And whether it was that the ale
had taken unto itself some at the properties at the maid, we
wotted not, but that it was tine were we all agreed."
"And so we passed the evening with song and interminable
caresses, and the maiden was highly delighted and amused withal
and the maid's fair cheek was flushed with pleasure, her eyes
sparkled with maidenly modesty, and we recorded the facts in the
visitors' book, a tome which had heretofore been given to
records at material satisfaction.
Kenneth Jones, writes: "Unfortunately the latter part of t!:le
walk tram Ilkley to Grassington is not recorded in the logbook
but they did eventually reach Grassington and then walked back
to Barwick. During their absence Billy Lamb had left a turkey
at the Attic Abode and Jimmy Brooke had returned from abroad and
had shed "tears, bitter tears" on finding the Abode deserted.
Their sorrows were short lived. A second Christmas dinner was
eaten on 29 December and was so enjoyable that it attracted six
signatures of thanks to the Gods."
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